The Place of Restoration Podcast

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The Place of Restoration

This is a word for weary standers. Click the link below to enroll in my free Bible study for an encouraging word and testimony of marriage restoration. Believe in God for your marriage harvest!

May God bless you 🙏🏾🤗📚🍁🙌🏽

The Place of Restoration study

With love and prayers,

Cassandra

Watchmen Wives

Hibernation

If you’re experiencing a winter season in your marriage where your spouse is committing adultery as an example, you may want to take precautions to protect yourself. Prepare for a spiritual hibernation to protect yourself and wait it out. 1) Just as bears will eat more and fill themselves up so they build up an added layer of fat for insulation, you need to eat more of God’s Word and fill up on God’s promises so you build up insulation against the attacks from the enemy that will come through your spouse and discouraging events designed to starve you of your hope and make life seem unbearable. Build up your spiritual defenses with prayer and thicken your skin so you understand not to take every cold thing your spouse says or does to heart. They need prayer because they know not what they do as they are breaking God’s covenant and grieving Him. 2) Come in from the cold of the opinions of ungodly or unsupportive people. Retreat into your cave. Pull back and retreat into a spiritual cave so you am focus on resting in the Lord. Don’t get busy entangling yourself into any new amorous relationships out of spite or to fill the void left by your spouse as they are cheating. Run off those scavengers who might try to come into your space and rouse you from being at rest in solitude with God. Use this time to build or strengthen your relationship with God. Pull back from other people who may be trying to discourage you or deflate your hope. It may be wise to disconnect in order to have quiet time so you can hear from God regarding your marriage. 3) Trust God that this season in your marriage shall pass. In time, you will hear love chirping again. You will feel the warmth of your beloved’s embrace and you’ll be able to begin replanting in the garden of your marriage again together. Be of good cheer in your season!
Cassandra Salamone
All rights reserved 2015.

Marriage Manna: Immoral Seductresses

Today’s Marriage Manna takes an up-close look at the dirty facts about the immoral seductress and the fate of the man who falls for an adulterous lifestyle. Sometimes things look and feel better when they are enjoyed in the dark–in secret. That is one of the deceptive appeals of adultery, but we have God’s Word to shed a bright light on this lie so we may understand exactly how unappealing and destructive adultery truly is.
Read on in Proverbs 5:1-6 the Message version:
” Dear friend, pay close attention to this, my wisdom; listen very closely to the way I see it.
Then you’ll acquire a taste for good sense; what I tell you will keep you out of trouble.
^3-6 The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth.
But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.
She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.
She hasn’t a clue about Real Life,
about who she is or where she’s going.”
God warns that the immoral seductress knows exactly what to say to satisfy a man’s ego. She knows what to say to make him feel good! Like he can do no wrong! If he goes on in adultery with her. If he cheats, after a time, he will regret knowing her. He won’t even want to speak her name and she will make him sick to his stomach! She will bruise his heart and cause it to be a confused tangled mess of emotions. She’s dancing and seems like she knows who she is and where she is going in life, but she has no clue! The only place she’s leading the poor fool who dances with her in the dark is to Hell!!!
In verses grouped 7-14, Proverbs continues:
“So, my friend, listen closely;
don’t treat my words casually.
Keep your distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.
You don’t want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.”
Stay away from any woman who wants form an intimate relationship with you, men!!! Don’t go into neighborhood, not even a step or to drive through! Why waste your life on someone so hard of heart that she doesn’t even care about your other hall’s feelings–your wife’s? Any woman with a good heart doesn’t want to make another woman’s heart hurt by wrecking her marriage!

Proverbs has an abundance of manna concerning cheating, but one thing that strikes me the most is a deceptive lure of adultery and the consequence for the man who falls for that lure and into sin.

Lure of Adultery
Proverbs 9:17:
” “Stolen water is sweet;
food eaten in secret is delicious!” ”
The lure for the immoral seductress is that in her own lack, she can steal someone else’s husband to add pleasure and provisions to her life. The lure for the wayward husband is that he can enjoy the immoral seductress secretly! He can have his wife, and in secret, he can have this other woman who doesn’t have expectations for him the way his wife does. With the other woman, he can feel needed and built up without having to face his responsibilities and without accountability.
Consequence of Adultery
Proverbs 6:26, Amplified version:
” For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man].”
The immoral seductress will reduce a wayward husband to a crust of bread!!! She will use him up and suck all of the livelihood out of his soul because although he may think he sought her out, the devil put her in his path!!! She will prey on him and do everything in her might to keep him hooked into her so that she might keep him from his wife!!! When the immoral seductress comes, it is not a coincidence. She was not sent by God!!! The enemy has known that wayward husband’s weariness of his wife and set him up to fall for lust with a woman who he knows will destroy his heart and mess his mind up!
The manna for today is a warning and gives specific guidance concerning the immoral seductress. For a man to say the adultery just happens, is a man that lacks knowledge. God says in Hosea 4:6: ” My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…”
Genesis 4: grouped verses 6-7 Message version states “… sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it’s out to get you, you’ve got to master it.”

Husbands, be informed that adultery doesn’t just happen. It’s a set-up for you by the enemy to lead you to Hell. JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN IS THERE LOOKING GOOD AND SMELLING RIGHT, TELLING YOU ALL THE RIGHT THINGS DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS RIGHT! DON’T ACT ON YOUR LUST!
It’s not a divine attraction or meeting when the woman of your dreams is not your wife. It’s an excursion to Hell. Stay away from adultery and guard your precious lives from the immoral seductress.
Cassandra Salamone
All rights reserved.

Rebuilding After Adultery (w/prayer*)

 

About a month ago, I remember my husband asking me if I knew much about Nehemiah in the Bible. I told him I was familiar more with his name than with his story. Isn’t God so good in that He led me straight to the book of Nehemiah today? He is faithful to show us other people’s experiences so that we can know Him better and be encouraged in our own situations in life. Today, I believe the Lord led me to Nehemiah as I reflected on the process of marriage restorations and the rebuilding efforts that are needed after adultery has been committed. From my own experience, my husband’s reconciliation to me occurred suddenly but that was not the end of our restoration. We have had to commit to putting in hard work, sweat, and tears in rebuilding what we and the enemy destroyed. We both played a part in factors that led to the breakdown of our marriage. We thought our marriage was decimated, BUT GOD!
It is unfortunate when adultery becomes part of the picture in a couple’s marriage. Instead of there being a protective wall to surround their marriage and hedge them away from intruders, the enemy finds a crack, breaks down that wall, and interposes a spiritual wall between a husband and wife. That wall can be removed with repentance and forgiveness. Rebuilding love, intimacy, and trust in a marriage after adultery, can be even more difficult than forgiving your spouse because it is an ongoing task you must be committed to doing together. My husband and I have not been able to do it without God’s help and great mercy.

When you look at Nehemiah’s account, you can see that he first had a desire and willingness to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem that were leveled by the Babylonians. After adultery, you have to ask yourselves, respectively, if you are willing to repent, forgive, and do what is necessary to rebuild your marriage. If you are in the process of rebuilding with your spouse, your marriage may be in shambles, torn down, appear desolate and destroyed “by fire.”
Nehemiah 1:3 ” They are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem has been torn down, and the gates have been destroyed by fire.”
It can all seem so overwhelming when you and your spouse assess the damage to your marriage! Do as Nehemiah did, pray, pour out your grief to the Lord, beseech Him, remind Him of His “covenant of unfailing love” to those who submit to His will, fast if you are led to. Your marriage is a cup and you and your spouse are cup-bearers of the King of kings in that you are purposed to represent His love for His bride. Seek the Lord in all things!
Nehemiah 1:5-7 ” In fact, for days I mourned, fasted, and prayed to the God of heaven. 5 Then I said,“O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his covenant of unfailing love with those who love him and obey his commands, 6 listen to my prayer! Look down and see me praying night and day for your people Israel. I confess that we have sinned against you. Yes, even my own family and I have sinned! 7 We have sinned terribly by not obeying the commands, decrees, and regulations that you gave us through your servant Moses.”
Nehemiah 1:10 ” In those days I was the king’s cup-bearer.”

God is faithful to answer our prayers.  He will provide His grace, favor, provisions m and protection to those who are willing to seek His will. Pray to the Lord and ask Him to make a way for you and your spouse to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles that stand in your way to rebuilding together. Don’t expect those who are against your marriage such as the naysayers or the enemy to be pleased when God blesses your efforts to repair your marriage. Trust that He will protect you!
Nehemiah 2:7-10 ” If it please the king, let me have letters addressed to the governors of the province west of the Euphrates River, instructing them to let me travel safely through their territories on my way to Judah. 8 And please give me a letter addressed to Asaph, the manager of the king’s forest, instructing him to give me timber. I will need it to make beams for the gates of the Temple fortress, for the city walls, and for a house for myself.” And the king granted these requests, because the gracious hand of God was on me.
9 When I came to the governors of the province west of the Euphrates River, I delivered the king’s letters to them. The king, I should add, had sent along army officers and horsemen to protect me. 10 But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard of my arrival, they were very displeased that someone had come to help the people of Israel.”

Just as Nehemiah performed a thorough inspection of the damaged walls, you must be willing to “go there”–to the Dung Gates in your marriage. Yes, you must be willing to ask the awkward questions and examine all the ugliness that you more than likely would like to not have to address. Examine and reveal. Confess and repent. Forgive and pray so that you can be healed. Adultery destroys so many beautiful connections and spiritual gates in marriage. Yes, go to your Dung Gates and honestly assess what has been damaged between you.
Nehemiah 2: 13 ” After dark I went out through the Valley Gate, past the Jackal’s Well, and over to the Dung Gate to inspect the broken walls and burned gates.”

Have faith and trust that God will help you succeed in rebuilding your marriage! Work together.  One day at a time.  One effort at a time, and rebuke the enemy! Speak God’s Word over your marriage and each other! Declare and decree that neither man, woman, or the enemy has any “share, legal right, historic claim”or authority over your marriage except Jesus!!! Amen!!!
Nehemiah 2:20 ” I replied, “The God of heaven will help us succeed. We, his servants, will start rebuilding this wall. But you have no share, legal right, or historic claim in Jerusalem.”

When you forgive your spouse of infidelity, more than likely people on the outside–family, friends, and enemies–may scoff at you and mock you for wanting to stand for your marriage and rebuild it. What looks impossible to them is none of their business and there is nothing too hard for God! They may be waiting for the first signs of trouble from your marriage so they can gossip about how your marriage will not last. The enemy may send people and situations your way to confuse you to try and plant doubts in your mind as to whether it is possible or worth the trouble to rebuild your marriage. Pray! Ask God to protect you and becon the alet continually for those people and situations that try to come against you.
Nehemiah 4:2-3 “Do they actually think they can make something of stones from a rubbish heap—and charred ones at that?”
3 Tobiah the Ammonite, who was standing beside him, remarked, “That stone wall would collapse if even a fox walked along the top of it!”
They all made plans to come and fight against Jerusalem and throw us into confusion. 9 But we prayed to our God and guarded the city day and night to protect ourselves.”

Each day after adultery has happened,  is a long road in recovering from it,  but don’t lose hope! Don’t grow weary and count your blessings when you feel like throwing your hands up or complaining about how much work the rebuilding requires. Understand that the enemy is looking for a way in. He is always plotting ways to kill your love for each other and your desire to rebuild. He wants you to stop! He wants to end your work on your marriage!
Nehemiah 4:10-11 “10 Then the people of Judah began to complain, “The workers are getting tired, and there is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves.”
11 Meanwhile, our enemies were saying, “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work.”

Look at your situation together and encourage each other! Do not fear the enemy because God has defeated him! Remember and remind one another how MIGHTY the Lord is and FIGHT for your marriage and your family!!!!
Nehemiah 4:14 ” Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!” “

Be prepared to be diligent. Rebuilding is a process that you must commit to “from sunrise to sunset”. Always be on guard for the enemy and never tske off your armor of God. Eph. 6:11 ” Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Carry your weapons with you at all times–God’s Word.  Walk in your authority in Christ at all times. Even when it seems you can relax and let your guards down, stay alert!
Nehemiah 4:21-23 ” We worked early and late, from sunrise to sunset. And half the men were always on guard. 22 I also told everyone living outside the walls to stay in Jerusalem. That way they and their servants could help with guard duty at night and work during the day. 23 During this time, none of us—not I, nor my relatives, nor my servants, nor the guards who were with me—ever took off our clothes. We carried our weapons with us at all times, even when we went for water.”

Undoubtedly, the enemy will attack your marriage again. And he is very likely to attack in the same areas, the same way. He will keep testing to see if he can tempt you or your spouse to commit adultery again. Different people may be sent to test you over and over again. You must be ready to rebuke the temptation faithfully and consistently. You must not make the mistake of coming down off the wall to play around with fire. It is only a snare from the enemy because he wants to stop you from rebuilding your marriage. Your answer to temptation each time it comes, needs to be the Word of God!
Nehemiah 6:1-4 ” Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab, and the rest of our enemies found out that I had finished rebuilding the wall and that no gaps remained—though we had not yet set up the doors in the gates. 2 So Sanballat and Geshem sent a message asking me to meet them at one of the villages in the plain of Ono.
But I realized they were plotting to harm me, 3 so I replied by sending this message to them: “I am engaged in a great work, so I can’t come. Why should I stop working to come and meet with you?”
4 Four times they sent the same message, and each time I gave the same reply.”

I understand it is not easy as you work to rebuild your marriage and put the adultery behind you. But what you are doing is bigger than the two of you. You provide a testimony to the world that God will be glorified! Marriage can work and prosper! As you both work together others will know that you only could have done it because of God! Others will see that “the work had been done with the help of our God”! And although Nehemiah was able to finish rebuilding the wall in just 52 days–glory to God!–you will be blessed to have His help in rebuilding your marriage until the day our Lord Jesus returns for His bride! Don’t give up. Be faithful! God will bless your commitment to finish what you began when you said “I do.”
Nehemiah 6:15 “…. the wall was finished—just fifty-two days after we had begun. 16 When our enemies and the surrounding nations heard about it, they were frightened and humiliated. They realized this work had been done with the help of our God.”

Dear God, thank You that Your Word is true and that we have Your blessing as we “rebuild the ruins”, “restore the places long devastated and “renew the ruined cities that have been devastated…” (Is.61:4)
Thank You that You will restore the years the locusts have eaten.’ (Joel 2:25). Tear down any walls between me and my spouse that prevent us from working together to rebuild our marriage. I rebuke the spirit of adultery in Jesus’ name. Lord, reveal to us any gaps that we need to repair and seal in with fresh commitments to one another. Protect us from the evil in this world. Thank You for giving us another chance to glorify You, and remove any shadow of bitterness or resentment that may have resulted from the adultery. Lord, heal our marriage and show us how to glorify You in all we do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Cassandra~ All rights reserved. ♡

Prayer Against Adultery

Dear Lord, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, let every yoke of adultery that hangs on the shoulders of husbands and wives be broken and crumbled to pieces. Let the pieces be engulfed by Your glory as You turn their hearts back to you. Give husbands and wives the mind of Christ and renew our thoughts, hearts, and spirits in You. Lord, every desire husbands and wives secretly fan to flames in their hearts for foreign flesh–for anyone other than their spouses–quench every spark and every flame with Your Holy Spirit!!! Let every path to the immoral seductresses (both men and women) be burned and hedged up with thorns that will pierce their hearts and lead them to repent!!! Give every husband and wife a soft heart that wants to hear Your voice and correction! Your correction saves!!! Lord, aside from selfish desires to not see marriages fall apart. Show Yourself MIGHTY in the hearts of all those who are either committing or contemplating adultery!!! Lord, give those in rebellion no rest so they have no choice but to turn to You!!! I pray for their salvation Lord!! The immoral seductress pathways lead to death!!! Lord, give us hearts and faith that are unmoved by the temptations that will surely lead to paths of destruction and death! Give every husband and wife power as we speak Your Word over our marriages taking captive all imaginings, thoughts, circumstances, and anything that is contrary to what Your Word declares!! Thank You in advance for the restorations and for breaking the generational strongholds of adultery from Your covenant marriages. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen!~ Cassandra♥
All rights reserved.

Speak God’s Word Over The Dry Bones of Your Marriage

“Then say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Surely I will take the children of Israel from among the nations, wherever they have gone, and will gather them from every side and bring them into their own land; 22 and I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel; and one king shall be king over them all; they shall no longer be two nations, nor shall they ever be divided into two kingdoms again. 23 They shall not defile themselves anymore with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions; but I will deliver them from all their dwelling places in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them. Then they shall be My people, and I will be their God.” ~Ezekiel 37:21-23
Are you experiencing adultery in your marriage? Your marriage may appear to be dead and hopeless. Your spouse may have abandoned you for the person they are committing adultery against you. There is still hope! And we find our hope in the Lord and what His Word demonstrates to us. You too can prophesy life back into your marriage by speaking God’s Word over it. Ezekiel 37:21-23 is especially poignant to me because I can see with my spiritual eyes how God will gather up those scattered, prodigal spouses and bring them back into their own land! I can see how He will make you and your spouse ONE nation–no longer two divided kingdoms ever again! I can see prophetically in His Word in Ezekiel chapter 37 how God motivates us to speak and declare with authority by faith! Speaking life although there’s lifelessness all around because HE can surely resurrect your bones–your foundations of your marriage. Get up from the despair and defeat you have sunken into. Water the parched hope you have for your marriage to be restored by God by speaking His Word into your situation. Amen! God bless~
Cassandra

Beware of Immoral Wells

This is a poem I wrote (in the form of a play) in an attempt to illustrate one husband’s “fall” into adultery:

The immoral seductress. The other woman. The adulteress. The mistress. She appears to have it all. She is an illusion and appears to be beautiful; but upon closer inspection, she’s just a big deceptive mess waiting to lure in a willing husband away from his wife.

Husband: There is something
More for me
On the other side
////////////////////
Of stinging feelings
And sour resentments.

Wife: Mostly he needs to find a way around his pride.

Husband: What’s one more secret to hide?
(So he walks around the gate
and the devil makes sure he finds her.
Because the enemy knows–
he can snare a man by presenting him with
a forbidden desire.)

Kohl-rimmed
Doe-eyes and
Gleaming words filled with molten venom
and poisonous promises.
Her disposable laughter
and ever-ready embrace
pave the way to her tomb.
An immoral seductress’ womb
is a treacherous, slippery, moss-laden
TOMB.

A symphony of syncopated sin.

She’s like a well–
Foolish men pause to toss their worth in.
They fail to realize
they traded their souls for a worthless moment.

Now, one’s standing at the bottom
In a puddle of cold regret.

He tries to climb up
But his shoes have no traction.
The way out is what the seductress’s charms
Have caused him to forget.

He clasps his hands together
In repentant prayer.
Because of all the lies.
Layer upon leveled layer.

“Lord, help me get out of here. Get me out of this mess I’m in!”

He looks up to see his wife lowering a knotted rope.
He cries out to Jesus for the strength to climb!
He thanks God for the love his wife tied into each knot
Each prayer she lifted on his behalf.

As the fresh air fills his lungs,
His wife helps him climb out!
Over the well’s wall.

Husband shouts while embracing his wife: “I LOVE YOU!!! NOW Grab me the shovel!!!
HURRY!!!
With gravel and dirt, they block off the path to the well.
“I will never travel that path ever again.
I ALMOST LOST MY LIFE!!!!! MY SOUL TO THIS SIN!!!
Outside our gates, dear, are all sorts of immoral wells,
But I will never fall back in!!!!!!”

God says~ 1John 1:9 “If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action].”

Proverbs 7: “7 My son, keep my words; lay up within you my commandments [for use when needed] and treasure them.
2 Keep my commandments and live, and keep my law and teaching as the apple (the pupil) of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to skillful and godly Wisdom, You are my sister, and regard understanding or insight as your intimate friend—
5 That they may keep you from the loose woman, from the adventuress who flatters with and makes smooth her words.
6 For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice.
7 And among the simple (empty-headed and emptyhearted) ones, I perceived among the youths a young man void of good sense,
8 Sauntering through the street near the [loose woman’s] corner; and he went the way to her house
9 In the twilight, in the evening; night black and dense was falling [over the young man’s life].
10 And behold, there met him a woman, dressed as a harlot and sly and cunning of heart.
11 She is turbulent and willful; her feet stay not in her house;
12 Now in the streets, now in the marketplaces, she sets her ambush at every corner.
13 So she caught him and kissed him and with impudent face she said to him,
14 Sacrifices of peace offerings were due from me; this day I paid my vows.
15 So I came forth to meet you [that you might share with me the feast from my offering]; diligently I sought your face, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with rugs and cushions of tapestry, with striped sheets of fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us console and delight ourselves with love.
19 For the man is not at home; he is gone on a long journey;
20 He has taken a bag of money with him and will come home at the day appointed [at the full moon].
21 With much justifying and enticing argument she persuades him, with the allurements of her lips she leads him [to overcome his conscience and his fears] and forces him along.
22 Suddenly he [yields and] follows her reluctantly like an ox moving to the slaughter, like one in fetters going to the correction [to be given] to a fool or [a]like a dog enticed by food to the muzzle
23 Till a dart [of passion] pierces and inflames his vitals; then like a bird fluttering straight into the net [he hastens], not knowing that it will cost him his life.
24 Listen to me now therefore, O you sons, and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not your heart incline toward her ways, do not stray into her paths.
26 For she has cast down many wounded; indeed, all her slain are a mighty host.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead), going down to the chambers of death.”

Healing After Adultery

Adultery is an extremely hurtful act that is committed against God and that person’s spouse. When a person learns that their spouse has been cheating, it can be a devastating blow because trust has been broken. There is hope after adultery! God will help heal the brokenness and teaches us to forgive. Should the couple decide to repair their marriage, that is another work of healing in itself. Forgiveness and trust are two separate mountains. The golden bridge that connects them is 100% transparency. It is a bridge made of truth and answered questions and concerns. It is the responsibility of the adulterer to have an open dialogue with their spouse and answer all of their questions–each and every one–no.matter how repetitive or ridiculous they may seem. The bridge between forgiveness and trust is rebuilt with rung by rung. Truth by truth.
There is a misconception that when the hurt spouse forgives, trust returns automatically. The assumption is that he/she will simply allow the issue of their partner’s adultery to die down and simply move on. Adultery is not to be swept under the rug.
When a baby cries because he/she is hungry, sleepy, or uncomfortable,its cries are loud and alarming! The parents are alerted by the cries to attend to the baby’s needs.
The cries of a person who has been cheated on are of importance too! The person who cheated must put their spouse’s needs first and they cannot do that by giving him/her a pacifier! They cannot just provide–dead end, vague answers to protect themselves– a substitute for honest dialogue and expect their spouse to suck it up and let it go. They must be prepared to go through the pain and hear how their adultery has caused their spouse pain. The only way through the pain is to go through it. The pain cannot be silenced or ignored. If you are experiencing adultery in your marriage, there is hope for you! Trust can be rebuilt, but it is not rebuilt simply with forgiveness. Forgiveness is the first step. Trust is something altogether separate and is rebuilt by bringing everything that was in darkness into the light–every secret, your motives, intentions, and everything each partner needs to know to be at peace. This transparent “open door” dialogue, which means that no matter when a question arises,it is answered, is what has helped my husband and I repair our bridge of trust within our marriage.
Thanks for reading! May God be your hope in your marriage and everything you go through in life!  God bless,
Cassandra Salamone :+)

“Broken in the Wilderness”

I experienced a season of loneliness and heartache for many months prior to my husband’s confession that he had committed adultery. It was during that season that the Lord strengthened me and prepared me so I was able to respond biblically to my husband’s sin instead of reacting in the flesh. During that time, the Lord drew me near to him and shielded me from accessing the fullness of the grief and devastation that accompanies news of adultery.
The clichè that “a woman should be so hidden in God, a man will have to go through God before he can reach her” could have been affixed on the back of my driver’s license. The “old Cassandra” had moved for sure because the “new,saved Cassandra breathed, ate, drank, and lived Jesus”. All I talked about was God and the Scriptures I read, and my only interest was in reading my Bible or attending our church. My husband seemed to grow more emotionally distant as I fell deeper in love with Jesus everyday. He stayed out later and later and would remain gone for hours, although he was unemployed at the time. I would beg him to stay home and spend time with me; but when he did, we didn’t have much to talk about. Our relationship grew colder and increasingly fragile. I was sullen and my heart was breaking because I wasn’t in love with my husband; and I knew he was not in love with me. I knew he was interested in other women because the computer does not lie. Inappropriate connections via Facebook and flirtations revealed my husband’s wandering heart.
God switched my focus from what my husband was/wasn’t doing to my own conduct and walk with Him. His Holy Spirit awakened revelations and understanding in my heart as to my own accountability. I had some confessing and repenting of my own to do. God showed me that I was in rebellion, although it was of a different sort. I had many excuses as to why my husband did not deserve my respect. All invalid! I had expressed conditional love to my husband and talked about what God’s Word says about husbands ’til I was blue in the face that I’d driven a wedge between us. For so long, I’d been holding my breath and waiting for a transformation that was sheer fantasy and unrealistic thinking. Then, I got the word from God that I could breathe again. So I did; and I took slow breaths as I began to focus on myself one day at a time. He sent a Titus 2 woman my way who’s been married 30+ years and as she led me and several other wives in a Bible study based on Marta Peace’s “The Excellent Wife”, understanding opened inside of my heart. The biggest conviction I received from The Lord was in the book of Matthew:
Matthew 7:3-5 ““Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
It stung; but it was a healing sting and it opened the doors in my heart to forgiveness months in advance before I even had to forgive my husband’s adultery.
I wanted to share my testimony to encourage you that God will help you make it through anything in your marriage. Look to Him and His Word. This passage below is what God spoke into my heart one tear-ravaged night during that troublesome time of brokenness. I asked God, “What did I do to deserve this? All I want to do is to be a good wife and mother. I can’t fix this!”
I flipped through my Bible and He said:

Isaiah 54

54 “Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
break forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than the children of her who is married,” says theLord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
and your offspring will possess the nations
and will people the desolate cities.
4 “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.
6 For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God.
7 For a brief moment I deserted you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.
8 In overflowing anger for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.
9 “This is like the days of Noah to me:
as I swore that the waters of Noah
should no more go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,
and will not rebuke you.
10 For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11 “O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted,
behold, I will set your stones in antimony,
and lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of agate,
your gates of carbuncles,
and all your wall of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.
14 In righteousness you shall be established;
you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
and from terror, for it shall not come near you.
15 If anyone stirs up strife,
it is not from me;
whoever stirs up strife with you
shall fall because of you.
16 Behold, I have created the smith
who blows the fire of coals
and produces a weapon for its purpose.
I have also created the ravager to destroy;
17 no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,
and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

The Lord restores marriages! He restores hope and purpose!!! Just trust Him!!! Be Blessed!!!!

~Cassandra Salamone