I learned that the best way to change my marriage was to:✨Change my mind. Renewing my mind in Christ by reading God’s Word and learning how to apply it/walk it out changed the way I esteemed myself and him. I learned to see my husband from the perspective/in light of who God says he should be; Learning to do this shaped my thoughts of my husband and changed my beliefs about him as I saw him and spoke about him through eyes of faith based on the Bible and not his behavior. Amen.
✨Change my speech. When I stopped telling my husband repeatedly all of the things I thought he was doing wrong and took them instead to God in prayer, God humbled me and redirected my attention to the things I needed to work on in my own heart. My Words towards my husband and also to others concerning him became more intentional–kind, compassionate, and faith-filled. Instead of recounting his transgressions, I prayed for him and pointed out the many things that he was doing right along with things I believed by faith he would begin to do to the glory of God. The enemy is the accuser of the brethren and I refused to allow him to utilize my voice to tear my husband down. I used my words to build him up and noticed he no longer treated me as if I was his enemy.
✨Changed my actions. I prayed that God would fill me anew with His Holy Spirit and make me sensitive and soft-hearted without being a doormat. God is faithful. He guided me and made me “self-aware” or conscious of how to revise several key aspects of our daily life so that my husband would notice I was putting him first and honoring him. I no longer allowed his behavior to dictate my responses to him–changing my love from being a shell of love contingent upon whether he met my expectations and needs to being more like the Father’s love–unwavering and unconditional.
I learned to separate my emotions and opinions from my decision to commit to love my husband. I have been able to do this only with God’s help and this helped to soften my husband’s heart and elicit an even more loving response from him! Praise God!!!
The greatest change I’ve seen are the changes that God does in me. I learned I could never change my husband only myself and what I have to offer in our marriage; Changing my husband is God’s job to do and only what He identifies as areas that need to change.
Change begins with the one who has a need or prayer to see change. God is faithful to walk with you and guide you as he molds both you and your spouse to better glorify Him in your marriage. May God bless you 🙏🏽
Cassandra Salamone. All rights reserved. ©2017 April. Permission required for reproduction.