Pick Your Wife Back Up (Letter to Husbands)


Dear Husband,
At one point in time, you saw your wife somewhere and you liked what you saw. Let’s just use a parable and say you were an avid reader and a lover of books. Your wife was the book you picked. Remember how she looked when you first saw her, and how you wished in your heart that you could just hold her and get to really know her? Do you remember how eager you felt and how you hoped to get the chance to have her all to yourself so that you could go on a date (read the back cover and inner cover leaflets) to get a little more information as to what this woman who caught your fascination was all about? You may have had to read several reviews in order to gather opinions as to whether you were eyeing the right book–the right woman to fit your life. Then, one day, you took an excited, love-driven leap of faith. You were not satisfied with just looking at the book on the shelf, gazing at the cover, and just re-reading the book jacket summaries. You wanted the entire book all to yourself. So you married your wife. You took her home and you just couldn’t wait to get started reading her. 
The honeymoon was fantastic. The book–your wife–was everything you’d hoped she would be. Such excitement and you’d never experienced such a book. Then, one day it’s almost as if you are not reading the same book. Is this the woman I married? You take a look at the cover to be certain. Reluctantly, you reopen the book and try to find your place. You have questions and feel as if you must have read too quickly because you feel like you missed some small but important details, but life –the plot just keeps moving. And as it plods forward, you just read in a noncommittal mannerthat speaks of your obligation since you bought the book–married her. Now you know better than to ask for a refund. This book has turned out to be more complex, and it just doesn’t do it for you anymore. You think, “Maybe noone will notice;” and you just take that book and slip it onto a dusty spot on your shelf.
But your wife noticed when you stopped trying to love her. You became weary and confused. Then, you just put her away in a sense that you stopped trying to understand her story in your life. You looked at her and saw the dog-eared pages–the weight gain from carrying your children in her body or from health issues , the effects of stress and age–and you felt like she had just really let herself go. A crisp, new book may have caught your eyes. You set your wife down and was ready to move on until your eye caught the glint of silver embossed lettering from the tears that slip from her eyes. You felt compelled to look closer and instead of checking the cover for the thousandth time, you check for the Author and read:
 [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].
~Hebrews 12:2, Amplified.
Jesus’ Contact info: Prayer.
Something clicks inside your brain and reaches your heart. Your heart seems to rev up and you feel this longing kindle in your spirit to seek out Jesus in hopes of getting a better understanding on what is going on with your wife. She is, after all, yours and a part of you.
You make it a daily habit to pray for your wife and you begin to notice that she seems happier. She just has this glow about her again and you realize you are responsible for why she was not such an interesting, dazzling. It was your perception of her because you thought the plot would just carry you through loving her. Jesus revealed to you that in order to get the best out of your wife, you need to pour into her the best of yourself, your love, and time.  Jesus shared with you:
Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body.
~ Ephesians 5:25-30, Amplified.
Your prayer time with Jesus focused you and you were able to stay out of the bookstore so you can concentrate on being a better reader–a better husband–to the wonderful book–to the wonderful woman you already call your own. Your wife. Thank you, dear husband, for dusting off your wife, sitting with her, and making it your priority and business to lift her up and. She has wanted to be an open book for you and hold your interest again. Dear husband, this time keep going and know that Jesus is the Author and finisher of your faith. Seek Him in making your marriage all that it should be. If you don’t see your wife as being #1, it could very well be that you neglected to put her first in your life (after God of course). Keep loving her and understand you have a responsibility to love her like Jesus loved the church. May God bless you!
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