The Prodigal Wife

image

God has laid His hand upon my heart regarding the prodigal wife.  When separations occur in marriage, I believe it is almost considered to be a natural assumption that the husband has left or abandoned his wife. I was brought face to face with this assumption when I posted about the prodigal husband’s need to return home and resume his duties as the head.  A married man commented and shared his desire for his wife, a prodigal, to return home to him. I was floored with compassion and empathy for him as I reflected on how he must have been feeling.
When a wife leaves her marriage, it creates a dynamic that makes quite an impact because her role is generally seen as being the homemaker or keeper of the home. A wife usually manages her household affairs and is the glue that holds the family together. It’s an unusual occurrence when a wife leaves her marriage behind, but it is a reality and the truth is that I was once a prodigal wife in my heart if not in deed. As I came to grips with my empathy for the follower who was at a loss due to his wife being a prodigal, God shined His light in my heart and caused me to remember when I almost became a prodigal wife. He has laid it on my heart to share my brief testimony.
When I Almost Walked Away
The moment I decidedly and determinedly packed my suitcases and planned to leave my husband, the R. Kelly song that says: “…When a woman’s fed up, no matter how you beg! No matter how you beg. No! There ain’t nothing you can do about it!”
Those lyrics would have been blaring loudly from my heart if it was equipped with speakers. I had planned to leave, simply because I was fed up. I had reached a breaking point instead of the breakthrough I prayed for. I’d given up on my husband. There were things I’d hoped he would change, but I was the only one changing as a result of those expectations. I had become bitter. And in the heat of my resentment, which I felt justified my striving, I detached myself from loving him.
I was without understanding that I wasn’t just giving up on my husband. I’d also given up on God! I used my emotions as my compass and allowed them to guide me to leave my husband in my heart. Although I physically did not leave, I’d checked out of my marriage emotionally. I should have stood firm and trusted in God’s promises, but I was more concerned with being right and wanting things to change in my own timing. I was tired of waiting on God to change my husband, so I left in my heart. It was like my marriage had become an event I’d paid for and I’d become sick and tired of my husband’s performance. With a grumbling heart, I had expressed in many prayers that I did not sign up for that and that I was not getting what I “paid” for. I believed that I’d invested my all into a marriage that was not living up to my expectations.
God had news for me!!! He convicted me that my husband’s performance is HIS business, not mine. I was supposed to keep my eyes on Him with hopeful expectation of HIS performance!
” so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11).
I was trusting in my own understanding instead of trusting and obeying God in how I did not submit to my husband. God showed me that the attitude of my heart was sinful. It was haughty because I was stiff-necked in my belief that I was right. I sinfully believed that just because I’d picked out some things my husband wasn’t doing right, I could just disrespect him and not show him love by refusing to submit and by hardening my heart against him. God says in His Word 2 Chronicles 7:14: “if My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
I had to humble myself before God and repent!!! Once I confessed my sins to God and sought His help in turning from my wicked ways, He began to hear my prayers I had prayed. God is faithful!!! He began to answer a lot of prayers I’d forgotten about simply because I’d given up hope. He worked many miracles in my marriage. Some were big and some were small, but each breakthrough had God’s stamp on it that He’d heard me and that He does His will in His own way. He began to heal my land. He began to heal my marriage.
God has taught me that my marriage is not an event I showed up for. It’s not a performance for me. It’s what He’s doing inside of me and my husband so that we show off HIS glory and performance so that we are sanctified and we may KNOW HIM. Now when I think of the “ticket” I “paid” for to get into my marriage, what once read:
1 Admitted “ now reads:
1 Committed”.
I’m all in whether the performance is to my liking or not. Glory to God / Amen!!!
If you are a prodigal wife or if you have considered leaving your marriage– unless it is because of abuse or some other situation that may harm you/your children– I suggest you seek God and allow Him to guide you before you strike out. The reason why you may want to leave could be what God is using to sanctify you if you let Him. God bless❤
Cassandra Salamone
All rights reserved. 2014

Advertisements

Please let me know what you think about this :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s