Many married couples slip into a mundane, monotonous relationship that seems to be based upon necessary interactions that don’t require much thought. We slip into patterns and get used to our spouses’ routines. Intimacy becomes this watered-down, nonexistent area in marriages in which the couples can easily take one another for granted. We cannot do the same things year in and year out with the expectations that things will change. If a person wants to keep their marriage exciting, he/she can’t let the excitement die down. In order to rekindle newness into the marriage, a couple must be willing to do new things. Different gestures=Different reactions which is what we are after. We have to continue being interested in our spouses and curious about who they are. No matter how boring your spouse or you may seem, there is so much more that is awaiting discovery or arousal. Couples need to rouse one another and pique each other’s interest. If you assume your partner is boring and treat him/her as such, what exactly are you willing to do to change your perspective? Maybe he/she isn’t boring at all but you just aren’t able to see what makes their heart beat a little faster or what makes their eyes sparkle with tender intensity. It is up to each spouse to create opportunities to rekindle the romance by getting to know one another instead of assuming they have learned all there is to learn! If we only think our spouses were interesting during the dating and honeymoon phases, we have to consider if we are simply unmotivated to invest the time and effort to impress them like we used to. Staying in a rut of not being motivated=laziness, and nothing fun or exciting is going to result from that! If you find that you are in that rut, there us hope! I have some suggestions to help you rekindle the romance in your marriage. Everything does not work for everyone, so keep in mind they are suggestions :^)
TIPS FOR REKINDLING ROMANCE:
◆ SURPRISE your spouse! Tell him/her that you want to take a drive and use a scarf as a blindfold. Play soothing or romantic music softly while in the car. Take her to a nice park and spread out a lovely picnic with fresh fruit, champagne, and her favorite meal. Or take her to her favorite restaurant. But don’t forget to remove the blindfold! Or, better yet, leave it on for a while! Should make for an interesting excursion to say the least:)
◆DO WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU WANTED TO IMPRESS your spouse! Sometimes it’s the little things: Wear cologne/perfume. Apply body lotion as needed as well as lip balm or lipgloss. Care about your presentation to your spouse. It lets them know they are still worth it!
《《Men: Make sure you compliment your wife on her hairstyle and choice of attire. Tell her that you find her to be attractive! Employ good manners even if you’ve been married 50 years and you’ve witnessed her in childbirth lol. Give her the respect she deserves by acting respectable. Get haircuts and keep facial hair, if any, groomed.
《《Ladies: Smile at your husband. It makes him feel wanted! Wear his favorite colors or outfits he has shown delight in you wearing. Paint your nails, shave unnecessary body hair that would get in the way of your husband enjoying the softness of your skin. Do things to pamper yourself because when you’re happy and show that you take care of yourself, your husband will take note of it too and feel blessed to have a confident wife by his side.
◆PLAN A ROMANTIC GETAWAY! Rent a bed & breakfast room for a night or two and decorate it romantically. Use rose petals. Fill the bathtub with bubbles and scented oil. Light scented candles and make it a lovely evening to rekindling intimacy. Offer a body massage. No television! Soft music only. Turn off cell phones and mobile devices so there are no distractions (If you have children, arrange a designated time to call and check on them).
◆HOLD HANDS! Hold your spouse’s hands in your own and weave your fingers together. It’s a simple, direct way to express that you want to be close with your spouse. It shows that you walk with one another in life. It’s a loving, protective gesture♡
◆BE ADVENTUROUS! Do something you don’t typically do. Don’t be vulgar, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with showing your spouse your affection in public. Embrace and kiss your spouse while you’re walking together. Instead of going to your weekly movie at the theater, go bowling or skating! Be creative 🙂
◆BE SILLY AND LAUGH TOGETHER! Life doesn’t always have to be so serious! Make jokes and try to make each other laugh and smile everyday:)
There are so many more suggestions I could make but, honestly, the very best suggestions are the ones that go unheard. I’m sure there are some suggestions that your spouse has made to you within the last month or year that you could employ. Ask your spouse if they have any suggestions; I’ll bet she/he has at least one! Feel free to use my suggestions and share if they helped you rekindle the romance in your marriage! Thanks for reading and God bless~