“The Husband By Your Side”

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Husbands are purposed by God to be the heads of their wives and households. Just as a wife is not called to be a doormat, her husband is not called to be a hat/coat rack!
What is a hat/coat rack? Generally, they are positioned in the hallway or a corner near the entrance of a home where people pause to hang up their outerwear before they move on to more important and exciting life activities. God did not intend husbands to provide convenience nor to carry their wives’ hang-ups concerning: their God-given authority to lead them; their (wives’) fears and limitations about the past or life, in general. Just because God commands husbands to be the head, does not mean that God intends for him to carry all the responsibilities their wives don’t want to shoulder. Certainly, if we need our husband’s help to cope with certain issues and burdens, it is understandable to ask for his help; and if he is able, he should gladly assist!
The hang-ups wives unload onto their husbands may include: a discontented attitude; an unwillingness to submit (rebellion); disownership for all she does that contributes toward the bad aspects within the marriage; an unforgiving, blaming spirit; disrespectful conduct or speech. It is wrong and sinful for a wife to expect her husband to just stand there and take care of whatever she wants to hang up on his shoulders. It is wrong for a wife to not address her own issues and sins and it’s also a sinful hang-up for her to use her husband’s wrong conduct as a reason why she refuses to submit to her husband and show him respect.
Let’s look at what the Bible says about how wives are to treat their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22, 24 The Message version says, “22,24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.”
Titus 2 The Message says, “Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.”
1 Peter 3:1-6 further says, “1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. 4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.”
Friends, we can continue to verse 7 and be reassured that God does, in fact, look out for us wives and holds husbands to a standard. Verse 7 adds, “The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.” *Note that this is saying that husbands and wives are joint heirs in Christ, not that their roles are the same. God warns husbands that their prayers can be hindered by the mistreatment of their wives.*
In addition, Galatians 6:2-5 teaches us about personal accountability.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone,without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load.”
A wife will need her husband’s help in life, but she is not to let her own attitudes, past hurts and disappointments, or her feelings get in the way of serving and respecting her husband. She must gather up all of her coats and hats (all her burdens, excuses, and anything that hinders her from joyfully serving God). She must no longer as a daughter of God expect her husband to stand in the hallways of their marriage. No, she must pray and ask God to give her the strength and lowliness of heart to carry her burdens to the foot of the cross so she can honor Him and her husband. So she can honor her husband as the head of their marriage instead of relegating him inside her heart as the drop-off zone.
By surrendering her will to God’s will for her life, a wife frees up her husband to step out of the hallways–the sidelines– and back into the main rooms! She frees him to step into his God-given role as her husband to serve and lead as the head!!!
Amen! Blessings :-}
Joyfully submitted,
~Cassandra

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