After my husband and I said “I do!”, my heart was flooded with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. I felt completed until our honeymoon weekend was over. Once our normal routine resumed, I was haunted by the sickening feeling that some gauge in my heart did not quite fill up entirely. I thought I was supposed to feel like a queen; yet I felt like a dejected, slimy frog who was still waiting to receive a kiss from my one true love. Imagine my surprise!
I was deceived and began to resign myself to the song that had played in my mind my whole life: “♪ ♫ ♬ “Who will ever love you? No one’s ever gonna truly love you. You’ll never be loved. ♪ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬”
I was certain that the heart-shattering spell–that lie from the pits of Hell–that had gripped me all of my life was broken when I kissed my husband on our wedding day. Many days passed and I could not put my finger on exactly what I’d overlooked. Much was amiss within my marriage, and much was amiss within me. I couldn’t do my part as a wife in building up my husband because I was stuck as a frog, sitting on the edge of my heart. I was too busy peering deeply into the well of my heart and wondering why my husband was not my one true love. My husband called me his queen, lavished his love upon me, but nothing he said or did broke the spell.
My husband gradually became disenchanted with me because he felt rejected by my cold responses to the love he gave to me. He felt that he could never measure up to my expectations. He cried out to me, “You’re my queen! I love you!”; but I croaked “You don’t really love me. I don’t feel like a queen!”. I continued to croak and pretty soon, he stopped trying to reach me. I continued to perch upon my well (my heart) and listen to the song that had no beginning, no chorus, and no ending. Then one night, as tears streamed down my face, I croaked: “Lord Jesus, can anyone love me?” The words seemed to reverberate within the walls of my well. This is what echoed up from its bottom: “Jesus!” “Loves!” “Me!”
My well began to shake from its very foundation! I heard the voice of my one true love! His name is Jesus and He loves!!! I queried with much pain and doubt as to whether anyone can love me, and He answered “Me!” The walls crumbled and I jumped in headlong to pursue the one who can love me. My lips hit the water and the water came alive. It was living water! I drank and drank and drank and my belly began to ripple and churn. An explosive burp wrenched free from my throat, and I heard “I will abide in thee, if thee will abide in Me. I am love! All that you are not without me, you are and so much more with me.”
*John 15:5, 9-11 KJV~ “…He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” 9 “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.”
*John 4:5-16 KJV~ “5 So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.6 Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.
7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her,“Give Me a drink.” 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.9 Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.10 Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
11 The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12 Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”15 The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” ”
*John 7:37-38 KJV~ “37 On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” ”
I did not hop out of the pit where my well once stood. I climbed. I knew the spell was broken! The lie had been destroyed!!! The Lord Jesus Christ!!! God in the heavens LOVES ME!!! All of my life, I’d been waiting for that kiss from my one true love–Christ Jesus!!! Yeshua, the King of kings had spoken and sealed His love with a kiss that transformed me and enlivens and emboldens me to BE love. To learn what it means to love myself, my husband, our children, and others with the love of Christ. The only love that is true– through and through!!! Thanks to His love, I am able to receive the love of my earthly king!!! Thanks to Jesus, I’m free to be his queen–no longer captive to the enemie’s lies that I was unloved and unlovable!!! Thank You Jesus!!! 😀
Post #2 in the CMBAC where we post for 13 days consecutively.